It is weird sometimes when we feel a strange attraction to some people. I met him at a photoshoot and now we are almost inseparable.
I never felt true love till I started loving him. I was not selfish nor greedy and had less expectations. I replace my jealousness with a smile and my greedy and selfish side with prayer.
That is not all.
I have a phobia of being in a serious relationship. I do love but I start to pull away when I feel it is serious. I want to get married someday and have my own children but I don't know why I fear marriage. It might be because of the community I grew up in where men do not respect or value women. Women are always the lesser specie and means nothing in the man's life but a slave he sleeps with when he want, who gives birth to children that the man takes no responsibility of. The women are always left to cater for their children and sometimes feed the whole house.
Divorce is very rampant here, a man marries a girl because of lust and divorces her when he has a taste of her womanhood. Many young girls are left divorced with either a child or two.
I know a story of a man who married a girl but does not care for the family. She has 2 children for him now who both suffer from malnutrition. When she was pregnant with the second child she was given an nutrient bar at the hospital to give the child and for herself, the husband ate it all and left them with nothing. The man earlier paid for his Hajj (pilgrimage) to Makkah while his family is suffering from malnutrition. Religiously you cannot leave your family with hunger while you spend a lot of money to ask God for something. Men here do not know the rulings of marrying a woman and caring for her.
Sometimes the problem is from the parents also, forced marriage. People still practice forced marriage here which is prohibited in Islam. A girl would be forced to marry a man because of his wealth or because of the relationship between her parents and his parents. Most of these girls end up cheating with men outside, or the man mistreats her because he feels he has the upper hand.
End of part 1.
